Proverbs 11

12 To despise in the context of the verse involves some kind of verbal expression. NIV uses the word "deride" to indicate a man verbally attacking his neighbor, but the verbal abuse may also be done behind his back. In either situation the community is weakened. The attacker is either guilty of alienating the victim or himself from the community. The attacker is also guilty of either making a bad situation or making a bad situation worse. The core problem is that the self-centered attacker does not see the victim as an image bearer of God and does not treat him with respect. Even if the victim has done something wrong, verbal attacks will not make the situation better.
13 The "talebearer" is really a gossip. In this situation one person has told an intimate friend something in confidence. Unfortunately, the confidant betrays the friend and either intentionally or unintentionally hurts him. When choosing a confidant we should be careful to choose one we know is trustworthy. If one reveals a secret to someone he already knows is a gossip he should not be surprised when his secret gets passed along to others. It would also help not to reveal potentially damaging secrets unless we know the confidant well.